


Don't Be Afraid

by brooklyn09



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dating, Greg is Sweet, Insecure Mycroft, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 21:49:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14602443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brooklyn09/pseuds/brooklyn09
Summary: Mycroft can't stop himself from trying to sabotage his burgeoning relationship with Greg. Can Greg convince Mycroft to take a chance on love?





	Don't Be Afraid

**Author's Note:**

> From this prompt on Tumblr - I am deathly afraid of almosts. Of coming so very close to where I want to be in life that I can almost taste it, almost touch it, then falling just a little short.

Despite being one of the most influential and respected men in the British government, Mycroft Holmes was timid and reserved in his relationships in his personal life. He had begun a tentative relationship with Detective Inspector Gregory Lestrade, but feared it was doomed to fizzle and die a painful death, because he didn't know how to "do" relationships. Especially with someone as desirable and self assured as Gregory. They seemed to be total opposites. Greg was gregarious, spontaneous and the life of any party. Mycroft preferred observing from the periphery, taking mental notes and planning his response accordingly. He was afraid Greg would tire of his awkwardness and naivety when it came to matters of an intimate nature. But so far Greg was accepting, and a kind and patient lover. He actually seemed to enjoy coaxing Mycroft along, carefully peeling open his protective shell.

Mycroft was not surprised to sometimes find himself sabotaging his new found happiness. He would inexplicably get nervous before dates with the DI, and cancel at the last minute. Greg was always gracious in accepting the change of plans, although Mycroft could hear the disappointment in his voice. Then Mycroft would spend the rest of the evening berating himself for being such a coward. Greg was offering him the most precious of gifts, his heart and companionship, with no pressure and no strings attached. Something that could be beautiful and fulfilling in a way nothing in his life had ever been. No one else had ever thought Mycroft was worth the effort. 

It was shortly after one of these cancellations that Greg tracked Mycroft down at the Diogenes Club. It was a Saturday night, and Mycroft had again begged off meeting Greg for their prearranged dinner out, claiming a migraine. Mycroft was alarmed, and uneasy, when he was notified of Greg's arrival. Hiding would be unseemly for a man of his reputation, so he indicated for Greg to be shown to his rooms. Mycroft presented a calm, unruffled front, but inside his stomach churned.

"Gregory, this is a surprise. I thought we agreed not to meet tonight." 

"I know, I was worried. This is the second time you cancelled on me this week. I know you said you had a migraine. I just wanted to see if there was anything I could do for you? " 

This wonderful man, Mycroft thought. Concerned for his well being, not upset about the shuttered plans. "No, thank you. I'm heading out shortly for home. I expect with a good night's rest, I'll be better in the morning." Mycroft could not bring himself to meet Greg's gaze. He was ashamed at his cowardice. He owed it to Greg to be straight with him. He straightened up to confess his deception and prepare himself for the inevitable dismissal. To his astonishment though, it didn't come.

"I know this is hard for you Mycroft. Your whole life, you've put everyone first, your brother, your family, your country. You neglected your own happiness to ensure the happiness of others. But don't you think it's time for you to put yourself first? I know you're busy with your job, I am too. There will probably be days that go by where we don't see one another. It will just mean a lot to know you're there - for me to be able to text, or call, or to look forward to seeing. I don't want anything fancy, like extravagant dates and expensive gifts. I just want someone to share the everyday moments of life with - the cooking, the shopping, watching telly, reading the paper. Taking a walk, a drive, relaxing on the sofa." Greg looked at Mycroft with hope in his eyes. "Will you take a chance? With me?"

Greg was looking at him so earnestly. How could he deny this wonderful man anything? Hesitantly, Mycroft stated, "I'm just.... afraid."

"Afraid of what?" 

Mycroft paused, gathering his thoughts, trying to put them into words. Sighing, he said "I am afraid of almosts. Of coming so very close to where I want to be in life that I can almost taste it, almost touch it, then falling just a little short. I have had my heart broken before. By men who manipulated me, used me, took their pleasure from me yet gave me none. Men who were embarrassed by me and ridiculed me. I have never found love to be worth the inevitable pain it has caused."

Greg reached for Mycroft's hand, rubbing the top gently with his thumb, back and forth. "I'm sorry your past experiences were so bad. That won't be me, Mycroft. And I know that because I already love you. I love your quiet, introspective demeanor. Your sharp wit, your intelligence, your confidence. How you pretend not to care, but care deeply for those around you. I love your generosity, selflessness, and trustworthiness." 

Looking down, Greg began caressing Mycroft's fingers, then moved up his arm to grasp him behind the neck saying, "I love your long, graceful fingers, your long, lithe legs, that little sliver of neck exposed between your hair and shirt collar. So delectable. I love your little freckles, how the sun highlights the red tint of your hair. I love all those things. And I would tell you that every day, if you'd let me. "

With tears in his eyes, Mycroft looked fondly into Greg's. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"You're just 'you'. I love you. Please, let me show you how much."

Mycroft exhaled a breath he didn't realize he was holding and began to cry. Greg gently wiped his tears away with his thumbs.

"Oi, none of that now. This is a happy moment, not a sad one."

"I know, I know, " hiccupped Mycroft. "And these are happy tears Gregory. I have a feeling I'll never have to worry about falling short again."


End file.
